For some crazy reason, my mind has recently been wandering back to this kid I went to Catholic elementary school with. Most of the kids in my class went on to become proper miscreants or whatever (my peoples), but Chris, as far as I know, was never heard from again.
I’m not sure how, but somewhere around 4th grade I got tricked into going over to Chris’ house to play a couple times. He was the absolute biggest of dorks (back then, it wasn’t a badge of pride), and it took a herculean effort by my mom to actually get me in the door of his house. His mom, who ran the Cub Scout troop, was apparently at least a generation away from her Irish roots, and she had a tendency to dye her hair an unnatural shade of red. She cut her son’s hair herself (poorly), and I always — even as a child — got the impression that he was the product of extreme coddling. Something about him just screamed “under-developed.” He always had the best toys, and he had an extremely condescending attitude that made me feel like shit because my toys weren’t the really big and expensive ones. But somehow, even when I was feeling belittled by him, I felt bad for him. I was way too young to consciously recognize that he was trying to compensate for something, but I always knew I shouldn’t take it personally (even though I always took such things personally from others).
I wonder where he is these days. I wonder where he went to school, post-grade school. I wonder if he lost weight in middle school, like I did. I wonder if he found an identity for himself. I wonder if he started smoking or drinking or rebelling in some other way. I wonder if he stayed a mama’s boy. I wonder if he ever lost the awkwardness, or gained enough self-confidence to perceptibly exude a little.
Earlier this year, Liz and I were standing in line to get food at an airport. We were still struggling to wake up, but I caught sight of a girl farther back in line. She looked, for all intents and purposes, just like Chris’ younger sister. Or, at least, that’s what my mind’s eye might configure when asked to create “Chris’ younger sister plus about 20 years.” I’m sure it wasn’t her, but it somehow gave me hope. Because this girl had the right face, and she looked like she had confidence, stature, experience, etc. And I hope that after 20 years, Chris has gained those things and assimilated them into a personality that suits him. The thing is, I can’t picture it. I wish I could.
I also wish I could find a picture of this t-shirt I’m thinking of. It’d illustrate the point perfectly. It’s a t-shirt that I saw Seth Green wearing in an episode of Greg the Bunny. Basically, it has just the head of Stewie Griffin on it, but it’s a depiction of Stewie as a mid-20’s hipster with some facial hair and a casual look in his eyes. Not all wound-up anymore. Cool.