you really don't want to know

Everybody, this is the last $170 I spent. Last $170 I spent, this is everybody.

The car key and the quarter are there only for size comparison. They’re not included in the sum-total. I can’t remember the last time I was able to fit such an expensive group of items into such a small paper bag (or paper sack, depending on your region).

I think part of the allure of taking your vehicle to a shop to get it fixed is just the fact that you don’t have to look this kind of thing right in the face. Rubber grommets, copper crush washers, seals, tiny little things that can be the roots of big problems. And they carry big price tags. Even though you could probably eat them and poop them out without ever noticing.

Well, except that metal impeller. That would go down rough and clean you out.

Have you ever stumbled across what seems to be the most beautiful person in the world, only to notice they’ve got a big old wart on the end of their nose that kinda ruins things? I know it’s a tired metaphor, but I’m tired and I needed a metaphor.

I’ve been using my iPhone a while now, and I’m to the point where I can’t imagine not having it. But I’d like to use it to help boost my productivity, or at least help my memory a little. It’s not quite up to the task. Yet.

The new version of Mac OS X, called Leopard, has this great feature wrapped into the Mail app. It lets you jot little notes to yourself, set up to-do items easily, and store them in your email folders, so (if you’re using IMAP mail), you can access your Notes or To-Do items from your smartphone, etc. The problem is, the implementation is retarded. See pic. I created this nice, concise list of to-do items for my motorcycle maintenance this week, and on my Mac, the list has a nice little checkbox for each item, and the items are ordered the way I want.

On my iPhone, the to-do items are in reverse order, and they’re not parsed in such a way that checkboxes are part of the interface. I can’t check off my items as I do them. Terrible implementation. I understand there are limitations to the types of data you can store and send through the IMAP mail protocol, but that doesn’t mean you can’t read-and-display that data however the feck you please on the computer (yes, the iPhone is a computer). The Mac desktop handles it properly. Make the iPhone do the same.

By the same token, there’s this handy little Notes app on the iPhone, in which I’ve jotted down draft blog entries, lists of random stuff, etc. From that app, I can email myself the contents of a note. But I can’t “sync” my iPhone Notes with my Leopard Mail notes. I mean, that’s just retarded. And honestly, it’s something I would expect from Windows Mobile 6. But considering all the care that was taken in crafting the user experience throughout the rest of the iPhone system…this is just that much more annoying.

I’m a guy who appreciates a girl who wears no makeup. Always have. Beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder, and when I behold your crappy makeup job, I fail to see your natural beauty.

In the same vein, I’ve always seen a certain sense of beauty in a girl who’s wearing her pajamas, sweatpants, sunday-best t-shirt, etc. I mean, it doesn’t always work for every girl, but when it does, I can appreciate it. So, if you look beautiful at your worst, I can dig it. (yes honey, you do look beautiful in your pajamas, no matter what I’ve said in the past about their inherent “sexiness”)

But please, for the love of all that is holy, never, ever, ever wear these —>

I don’t care who you are, or how sexy you think you look in them. You don’t. Ask anyone of the appropriate sex you’re trying to impress.

I visit Cannery Row in Monterey, CA, and do I suddenly get the overwhelming urge to read Steinbeck?
No. I am haunted with the desire to re-watch the Debra Winger / Nick Nolte vehicle.

Right savage, I am.

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there was a certain way of doing things.

When you wanted to change the words in an article or story, you would give the copy to your editor or you would at least proofread it to make sure there wasn’t a typo. Or an incorrect usage of a preposition. Or a sentence you mistakenly copied-and-pasted from the hot and steamy IM session you’re having with your secretary.

Anyhoo, apparently the concept of “final copy” has completely fallen by the wayside in the world in which we live. I have several clients who just don’t seem to understand that they’re paying me to sit around and wait for them to figure out what words they want on their sites. They’re paying me to doctor up images of text because they can’t be bothered to get all their image ducks in a row before they tell me commence work.

Several of my colleagues have no problem with it, because “they’re paying us to do it.” But seriously, that’s no way to be. I mean, I could excuse the arrogance if indeed it were a proper expression of greed. But it’s not. Listen, I’m the last fucking person in this big wide world who should give anyone a lecture on efficiency or work ethic, but even I know that if you work smarter, work from a game plan, enforce the plan, require everyone to adhere to deadlines and deliverables, that the payoff is huge: a) you’ve got less stress in your life (and so do I, which is way more important to me than it seemingly is to you), b) you get more bang for your buck, and c) I can get far more work done in any given week, which means I can get more of your shit done in any given week.

The problem is, the clients don’t understand. And when you ask them (diplomatically, of course) to please have all “final text and imagery” delivered by “a certain date,” you invariably get an attitudinal response that makes you feel they’re gonna be looking for someone else to do their work next time.

A client sent me an email today, with a few dozen requested edits to his site. I forwarded it back to him with more than 50% of those edits needing further data from him, whether they be files to post, or just info. Like “please change the address to our SF address.” Which spurred my response of “…and your SF address is…?” I think the majority of these things are just caused by ADHD, but it just amazes me that these folks are able to run successful businesses. My guess would be that the ADHD folks would be the great idea people, and they’d have their minions doing the detail-oriented work. But apparently this isn’t the case with my clients.

Click for absolutely huge panoramic.

25

Blows my mind when supposed music experts say something that completely and totally misses the point. Yesterday, on my way to work, I listened to a SoundCheck podcast where supposed music industry experts debated the following question:

Did the movie Juno deserve a “better” soundtrack?

Man, I just don’t understand how you could be further from the mark. Some guys were commenting that the soundtrack would be much more successful if it were primarily comprised of Belle & Sebastian tracks. Others were particularly not fond of Kimya Dawson, and her “under-produced, rough cut, unprofessional sound” and her “faux-juvenile lyrics.” Seriously? Did we watch the same movie? I’m sorry, but I think this soundtrack is not only amazing, but also VERY successful in sales, not to mention it’s perfectly matched to the subject matter of the movie. And, in terms of exposing a very large audience to an artist (and genre) they otherwise would not have heard, I’m personally very grateful to whomever made that decision. Think of all the kids in the world who were inspired by the Velvet Underground to go pick up a guitar and start making some music. I’m sure there are tons of other examples, and I hope Kimya Dawson has the same effect.