you really don't want to know

While I was placing a dish into the sink this morning, the Cold War crossed my mind. Maybe the radio was on and influenced my stream of consciousness, but odds are that it was random. My synapses seem to be firing in random order these days.

Anyway, it got me thinking about nearly 100 things at once:

An episode of Soundcheck from a month ago, interviewing a guy who was living in East Berlin before the wall came down, growing up listening to pirate radio stations coming from across the wall, being introduced to most of the pop culture that shaped his formative years through the filter of Checkpoint Charlie and armed patrolmen.

Got me thinking about the arms race, and that stupid movie with Chevy Chase, where he goes to a “state fair style” arms flea market, and I think he steals an experimental attack fighter. And on and on, my mind just went back through all the things in my life that were shaped by the fact that I was born during the Cold War, and was always living under the blanket of fear that ICBMs might start flying at any moment.

And I started thinking about how carefree and doe-eyed most kids, young adults and not-so-young adults are these days. There’s a war going on, there’s huge disapproval of the situation and far-reaching ramifications, and it just doesn’t seem that the nation is in the type of unrest that we were in during the Vietnam war. Maybe it’s just because the media is too slanted toward glamour and entertainment these days, and they don’t cover civil unrest and reality like they should. Or maybe we’re just too lazy a nation to get up and make our voices heard these days. Or maybe it’s just that no one believes anyone else anymore. People these days would question your credibility if you were to claim that the sky is blue. Contrarianism is running rampant. If you don’t believe me, visit the comments section of any news article, blog entry or forum. The cynicism and skepticism, though one would think it translate into vigilance or perhaps critical thought, is in fact just reinforcing the laziness and compartmentalized mentality of those exercising it.

Got me thinking about the Republican YouTube debate, trainwreck that it was. I don’t know why I expect good things to come from political debates, but I’m always hopeful. When the issues come up, the candidates (sometimes-)deftly figure out a way to answer the question without pointing fingers (unless of course it’s at someone else on the stage, in which case it’s expected, which of course disinterests me more). The Iraq war is, of course, a problem for which everyone in America wants to hear a solution, and there’s no one involved in the debate who can even begin to set right that fact that we never should stepped into the ring (even if that’s what they think). We’ve opened up a Pandora’s Box in the Middle East, and the professional estimates that we’ll need to maintain presence in the region for a decade are conservative at best. We fucked up. That’s what they all want to say, but can’t. George H.W. Bush said it best, and I wish to fucking christ I could find the quote. Around the time the first Gulf War came to a close, he was quoted as saying something to the effect of “making aggressive moves in the region can have the detrimental affect of building reciprocal aggression, starting more fires for terrorist thought to feed off of, and seemingly harmless involvement can have long-lasting repercussions that may not even be realized for decades.” I know I’m way off in paraphrasing, but the gist is the same. The man said a lot of stupid things in his life, but this one time he actually said something prescient, and his son’s administration didn’t heed the advice.

And I look back at the Cold War, a “conflict” that continued for decades with enormous amounts of public concern, and I can’t help but see that the population at large (including children, including young adults, including not-so-young adults) just aren’t taking the current situation seriously enough. Maybe it’s the places I’ve lived. Maybe it’s the social circles I bump up against. Maybe I’m just not seeing it, but it concerns me that I don’t.

That’s what I was thinking about as I put a plate into the sink.

When I was a kid, my dad bought his-and-hers Suzuki motorcycles for himself and my mom. They both had these white Bell full-faced helmets with matching red pinstripes. His bike was a 650cc model (a little more power), while hers was a 250 (I always considered it a “ladies’ bike”).

When my mom got sick, her motorcycle ended up sitting more and more, and began collecting dust in the garage. My dad moved on to other subsequent motorcycles (though he never did ride quite as much again), and his Suzuki was handed down to my brother. Awhile after my mom died, her motorcycle went out to Colorado with my sister. After a while of riding it, she moved it out to the backyard, where it now sits, collecting wasps.  Every time I visit, I entertain thoughts of helping her get it overhauled, seat replaced, re-chromed, and back on the road. Thankfully the elements in CO haven’t destroyed it. But who knows if I’ll ever get a chance to make it happen.

Anyway, this trip down memory lane is brought to you by the man and woman I was just following for a few miles, wearing matching white helmets, riding his-and-hers 1970s Suzukis, a 250 and a 650. And me, following in my 4-shades-of-blue frankenstein car.

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When I wrote this, this afternoon…and even through this evening, my mind was completely off the fact that today is the day my dad died. This is good. Definite good sign of healing.

EDIT: also, on the morning of the 1st, I made the decision to wear a different coat, because it was particularly cold out. The coat I chose was my dad’s I.B.E.W. Carhartt, a jacket I hadn’t worn in nearly a year. I didn’t even think about the date. The mind works in mysterious ways.