So I get to Oakland a little early for my smog test, so I can plug in the computer to make sure I don’t have any trouble codes, and make sure readiness is set. I’ve got one trouble code (instant fail) and two of the readiness codes have been set to “fail” (you’re only allowed one failed readiness code).
So I start to panic. I’m a little early, but not very. I’m parked outside my office building, across the inlet from the Alameda smog referee station, sitting there with my laptop, frantically running through the process to manually set readiness. Step one is to clear the trouble codes, which instantly sets all readiness codes to “fail” (nerve-wracking in situations like this). Throttle-body adaptation, check. Oxygen sensor heating lambda test, pass. O2 sensor aging test, pass. Catalytic converter test…fail. Eh, I’m allowed one fail. Secondary air injection test starts, and keeps going for nearly 10 minutes. I let my foot off the brake, and the test aborts just as I hear the pump kick on, and I can’t get it to restart. Shit, there’s only 5 minutes for me to get to the testing station, and I haven’t even set evaporative emissions readiness yet. I scrap it, and drive over.
As I turn into the College of Alameda, I say “fuck it,” and pull into a faculty parking spot to try one last hail-mary. Throttle adaptation, check. O2 lambda, pass. O2 aging, pass. Gonna skip the catalyst test, cause I know it’ll fail, and if I don’t do the test, at least it won’t throw a trouble code. My hope is that the trouble code won’t be thrown during the smog test (I don’t think it will, but if they run the car between 1800-2200 rpm for a minute straight, and the catalytic converter is over 440°C, it’ll throw the code). Secondary air…pass (the trick is to set the parking brake, and let off the brake pedal to start the test). Evap emissions (moment of truth)…pass. I’m three minutes late, but probably no big deal.
I go in…my paperwork isn’t in my bag. I must have filed it by accident, FUCK! I ask the referee if I can still do the test, and he says no problem.
I sit down, wait a little bit, and they tell me their dyno isn’t working. They turn it off for five minutes, turn it back on, still no workie. They turn it off for 1/2 hour, turn it back on, still no workie. Now I sit and wait a little longer, and decide whether to reschedule for later today or after thanksgiving weekend.
I was feeling really hopeful when I got my readiness set. Totally thought I had this in the bag. I want my fucking CA license plates. Let me in there to fix your fucking dyno.
At least the ref is a good guy. He asked for my phone number, in case he gets it fixed today.