you really don't want to know

Happy birthday to my friend Libby. I’m not much of a friend to her due to my apparent inability to pick up a phone, nor write when not written to…

…but I hope you’re well, fair lady. I promise, someday soon, we’ll be able to catch up, compare notes, perhaps have a beer or simply have a damn conversation. Have a good birthday.

20 years ago I . . .
1. Practiced night after night to be as good as I could be with a yo-yo, so my friend Stanley and I could be the “Yo-Yo Men” in our Catholic school’s annual holiday talent show.
2. Had an enormous crush on the little redheaded girl in my class. My mom picked on me incessantly about it.
3. Was enjoying my last year of having a cancer-free mom.

10 years ago I . . .
1. Was holding down three jobs, raising my GPA, and supporting myself (and my underemployed girlfriend) in my first-ever apartment.
2. Had mastered the fastest graphics computer on the market, and was assisting my professors in teaching my fellow classmates how to use them.
3. Changed my first set of brake pads in my brother’s driveway. I was so afraid I’d screw up, it took me till the wee hours of the morning to finish.

5 years ago I . . .
1. Was fast on my way to becoming the Lead Developer and Webmaster of eCornell, the Ivy League institution’s online course-developing venture.
2. Knowingly wronged someone I loved dearly.
3. Spoke with my then-girlfriend over instant messenger, watching her webcam as the second tower fell to earth, not twelve blocks from her apartment.

3 years ago I . . .
1. Was laid off, along with half of eCornell.
2. Built a car from the ground up.
3. Ditched the zero and got with the hero(ine)

1 year ago I . . .
1. Started the slow and arduous process of fixing all the things I’d caused to go amiss in my life
2. Began a career path that is decidedly different than those my degree would generally lead to.
3. Moved in with the most wonderful woman in the world.

So far this year I . . .
1. Have paid down over 1/3 of my hellish debts.
2. Got in my first motorcycle accident, hitting my head hard enough to forget where I was, who I was, how I got there, and what year it was.
3. Watched as my father was lowered into the ground next to my mother.

Yesterday I . . .
1. Met with my girlfriend and her dad for lunch, wishing him a belated happy birthday.
2. Found out my stepfamily will not give up my childhood home without a fight.
3. Got what I think might be strep throat, and slept (I use the term loosely) on the couch so I wouldn’t keep the little redheaded girl up all night.

Today I . . .
1. Got in a big argument with my boss.
2. Haven’t slept in 36 hours.
3. Got a phone call from my sister telling me my brother had been in a minor motorcycle accident.

Tomorrow I will . . .
1. Dissect a Dynojet chassis dynamometer.
2. Repair a few things on my car.
3. Hope that things will get better.

In the next year I will . . .
1. Probably change careers again, or at least change jobs.
2. Try to work on my piss-poor impersonation of an adult.
3. Prove why I’m worth the trouble.

In the next minute I will tag . . . (time and interest permitting…)
1. I have no friends who
2. haven’t been tagged
3. already with this one

In the back window of a car was one of those suction cup stuffed animals, all splayed out with a hand-written note stuck between its body and the glass:

SMILE. IT COULD BE WORSE.

The latter doesn’t really encourage the former, but thanks for reminding me.