you really don't want to know

My sister wants me to move to Colorado. She’ll support me until I get back on my feet. She wants me to just pack up my VW and drive out. What she doesn’t realize is that I have zero money, zero available credit, and zero ability to just up and move. I could probably convince my landlord to break the lease since I can’t afford the rent, but the truth is, I can’t just leave all this stuff here. I mean I could definitely fill a dumpster with stuff, but there’s still a whole lot of shit that it would be wasteful to throw away. And how do I fit my tools, etc, into my car with all my worldly possessions?

And I don’t know, I just don’t have much desire to move to a place that doesn’t really have any natural lakes. Call me crazy. Reservoirs just don’t do it for me.

Fuck, I don’t know. I hate baby steps, but that’s what I need to do right now.

I drove through the town of Lodi this morning. I saw a sign that said “GARG.” As I got closer, I realized there was another A and an E in there, very skinny, added after the fact: GARAGE. More skinny letters, underneath this first word, declared “SALE.”

A wife tells her husband (or vice versa) to please make a sign for today’s garage sale. The spouse in question goes away, and comes back with a wooden board with the word “GARG” on it.

These are the people who still want to vote for George W. Bush after seeing the presidential debate. And I think they should all be put down.